First some background:
We’re sitting at lunch recently when a table of women next to us is engaged in conversation about each of their “baby’s daddies.” As in: “My baby’s daddy went to the market. My baby’s daddy stayed home.”
We’ve noticed this trend for some time and feel comfortable identifying this as an actual “thing”. Kind of like “hottie” entered the American lexicon to stay (at least for awhile), “my baby’s daddy” is set to make a move.
Fast forward to today. We’re eating lunch at the Original Pancake House (today was “O”), and the waitress has an issue with us. Two people ordered “french toast Charlene” and got “french toast”. When we informed her, she said, “Oh, I didn’t hear you say ‘almond'”. (The full, proper name for this dish is Cinnamon Almond Nut French Toast Charlene. She was somewhat indignant that the proper name wasn’t used when ordering.) While she was off fixing this issue, I noticed that the eggs I ordered (“over easy”) weren’t just runny, they were basically clear covered with a marginal layer of white. In other words, they weren’t cooked at all. So I pointed this out when she returned. She replied, “Didn’t you say ‘over easy’?”
“Well, yes,” I replied, “but I did want them cooked.” She huffed and went away. When she brought them back (cooked, this time), she said, “Is this how you wanted them?”
“Yes, this looks fine,” said I.
“Well that’s ‘over medium’.” She turned away before I had the opportunity to thank her for the egg etiquette lesson.
This got us to wondering about the worst possible list of people to be chastised by. I immediately offered “waitress” as a possibility. Someone chimed in “parking lot attendant.” Someone else added “bathroom attendant.” And then Ben said, “Jerry Springer.”
We spent the rest of the time trying to think of anyone worse to be chastised by then Jerry Springer. What could he possibly have to pass on to anyone else as a usable life lesson? And that somehow turned into a Jerry Springer episode: “I married my brothers baby’s daddy.” I laughed until I cried.
Incidentally, I’ve been unable to find any reference anywhere to “eggs over medium” and believe me I’ve looked. For those interested, here’s a link that’s all about eggs. And if that’s not enough, whip out the vinegar and make yourself a naked egg. Very cool.