"Don't Argue With An Idiot" and Other Truisms

I received this from my sister today and thought a few of these were classic:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it. So I said “Implants?” She hit me.


  1. Great lines!Thanks for posting them.Maria

  2. Thanks for the giggle, and for posting on Pat Tillman.Uncle Jack

  3. Jim,Thanks for the laugh and I especially like the posting about Pat, I voted a couple days ago on SI.Kev

  4. Classic.Hey Jim.Thanks for stopping by my blog again and for the positive comments. I didn’t know of your military background. I appreciate your perspective on that front, and for the assurances.I understand completely the fragility of life as it relates to our children, and the fear of everything and anything that could possibly harm them. I’ve had many a sleepless nights after watching the news or some such evidence of the instability of the world we live in, as I’m sure you can relate.Great family pic, by the way. And I love Jack’s pose.April

  5. I assume yoou dont HAVE to swear on the bible.

  6. Just heard on the radio (Dennis Prager Show) the other day that in Holland (yes, I realize that is not one of Our United States), it is now *mandatory* to read the Koran in school. But not mandatory to read the Bible. This is _Holland_, just to remind you.

  7. Great sayings… I’m saving ’em. I know they’ll come in handy.

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